Post by Yori Yanover on Nov 29, 2006 9:59:40 GMT -5
Message boards are a fabulous idea, and then there's this story…
It was four in the morning, but Scheinderman was unable to sleep. The night before he had posted a passionate message on the Lower East Side community forum, in which he had gone so far as to call his opponent in a debate "hater of all life forms," after said opponent declared that "all local dogs should be exterminated."
Finally, his good wife of many years woke up and urged him to "go online already and see if the so-and-so wrote something back."
What a wonderful idea, that message board! An interactive website, it offered neighborhood residents a place to exchange views on many local issues. It was democracy in action in the best Athenian style, but with more Jews.
Then came the discussion of dogs, or, rather, the bylaws of the local housing cooperatives forbidding ownership of pets.
The Scheinermans had owned many dogs throughout their marriage. Small ones, mostly, wooly, fluffy animals, high on exuberance and love, but low on maintenance and food bills.
Imagine, then, Scheinerman's rage when he happened upon an entry on the message board, suggesting the housing cooperatives shouldn't tell new tenants they could not own dogs, while in reality the co-op buildings were "festering with dogs."
It was the word "festering" which infuriated Scheinerman, who decided to enter a posting of his own in response.
He labored for hours on the text, making sure it maintained decorum and civilized restraint. At last he uploaded it, pleased that it conveyed his dismay at the offensive message, while showing some understanding of the plight of the dogless.
The response, by "NY-2000," (Scheinerman's handle was "Observer8," distinguishing him from Observers 1 through 7), was short and feisty: "It's nice to get such a well-written message. Now, Feido, let go the keyboard and give Master a chance to write something!"
This insult was quickly followed by several "Ditto" and "LOL (Laugh Out Loud in Geek)" entries by "SpamKiller," "LadyBugs" and others. Scheinerman imagined hordes of message readers slapping their thighs, laughing at his humiliation.
His next entry didn't take nearly as long to compose. "It requires much skill to avoid any reference to the debate at hand, and go directly to insults," he wrote. "Congratulations on maximizing whatever limited IQ you've been blessed with."
No one responded with entries of spastic glee this time, but NY-2000 appeared to have taken heed, as some hours later his entry was more on point. "Don't you think you're being a little dishonest, advocating dog owners' rights while owning a dog?"
Soon SpamKiller and the rest of the gang added their own snipes, each according to his level of proficiency with English.
It hit Scheinerman that while he was all alone in his battle, nothing could stop him from registering time and again under many different handles, adding those virtual voices to his camp. It was dishonest, but after a whole week's entanglement with the dog haters, honesty didn't matter so much.
And so AlphaMale, Lassie'sFriend and Elsie (the latter an attempt to elicit support from lovers of other species), joined the fray, encouraging Observer8 to keep up the good fight.
Not surprisingly, NY-2000 also began to receive support from new voices. WhackDaDog, Wolves-R-Us and Elsie2 all proved to be staunch enemies of the canines. This forced Scheinerman to come up with new warriors, such as Man'sFriend, St.Bernard and Elsie 3 through 8.
The tone of the messages was becoming shrill and outright antagonistic. Observer8 and NY-2000 had long since gone past associating one another with various fascistic parties of the 20th Century. Their hatred was so livid, it was obvious they were both doing little else but composing messages of derision and waiting for their nemesis' answer. The same appeared true for the several dozen minor participants, whose quips were becoming distinctly more homicidal.
Then, suddenly, NY-2000 stopped posting. Suspiciously, none of his regular band of supporters had entered any messages either. Scheinerman was left all alone, and after a few attempts to egg his opponents on ("What's the matter, your cat got your tongue?"), he began sinking into depression. Supportive postings by Elsie and AlphaMale didn't comfort him much, indeed, they quite alarmed him.
Scheinerman left his desk and showered, realizing it had been days since he had last cleaned himself thoroughly. He dressed up, also for the first time in who knows how long, and read the note from Mrs. Scheinerman regarding how she was leaving him and taking Sparky with her (he now noticed the place had been quieter than usual).
There was some noise in the apartment next door. Scheinerman peeked inside. Apparently, his neighbor of many years, Ezra Rottenstein, had passed away and his family was sitting shiva. He recalled being rather fond of Rottenstein, a quiet sort of man, who didn't go out much and spent a great deal of his time in front of the computer.
It was four in the morning, but Scheinderman was unable to sleep. The night before he had posted a passionate message on the Lower East Side community forum, in which he had gone so far as to call his opponent in a debate "hater of all life forms," after said opponent declared that "all local dogs should be exterminated."
Finally, his good wife of many years woke up and urged him to "go online already and see if the so-and-so wrote something back."
What a wonderful idea, that message board! An interactive website, it offered neighborhood residents a place to exchange views on many local issues. It was democracy in action in the best Athenian style, but with more Jews.
Then came the discussion of dogs, or, rather, the bylaws of the local housing cooperatives forbidding ownership of pets.
The Scheinermans had owned many dogs throughout their marriage. Small ones, mostly, wooly, fluffy animals, high on exuberance and love, but low on maintenance and food bills.
Imagine, then, Scheinerman's rage when he happened upon an entry on the message board, suggesting the housing cooperatives shouldn't tell new tenants they could not own dogs, while in reality the co-op buildings were "festering with dogs."
It was the word "festering" which infuriated Scheinerman, who decided to enter a posting of his own in response.
He labored for hours on the text, making sure it maintained decorum and civilized restraint. At last he uploaded it, pleased that it conveyed his dismay at the offensive message, while showing some understanding of the plight of the dogless.
The response, by "NY-2000," (Scheinerman's handle was "Observer8," distinguishing him from Observers 1 through 7), was short and feisty: "It's nice to get such a well-written message. Now, Feido, let go the keyboard and give Master a chance to write something!"
This insult was quickly followed by several "Ditto" and "LOL (Laugh Out Loud in Geek)" entries by "SpamKiller," "LadyBugs" and others. Scheinerman imagined hordes of message readers slapping their thighs, laughing at his humiliation.
His next entry didn't take nearly as long to compose. "It requires much skill to avoid any reference to the debate at hand, and go directly to insults," he wrote. "Congratulations on maximizing whatever limited IQ you've been blessed with."
No one responded with entries of spastic glee this time, but NY-2000 appeared to have taken heed, as some hours later his entry was more on point. "Don't you think you're being a little dishonest, advocating dog owners' rights while owning a dog?"
Soon SpamKiller and the rest of the gang added their own snipes, each according to his level of proficiency with English.
It hit Scheinerman that while he was all alone in his battle, nothing could stop him from registering time and again under many different handles, adding those virtual voices to his camp. It was dishonest, but after a whole week's entanglement with the dog haters, honesty didn't matter so much.
And so AlphaMale, Lassie'sFriend and Elsie (the latter an attempt to elicit support from lovers of other species), joined the fray, encouraging Observer8 to keep up the good fight.
Not surprisingly, NY-2000 also began to receive support from new voices. WhackDaDog, Wolves-R-Us and Elsie2 all proved to be staunch enemies of the canines. This forced Scheinerman to come up with new warriors, such as Man'sFriend, St.Bernard and Elsie 3 through 8.
The tone of the messages was becoming shrill and outright antagonistic. Observer8 and NY-2000 had long since gone past associating one another with various fascistic parties of the 20th Century. Their hatred was so livid, it was obvious they were both doing little else but composing messages of derision and waiting for their nemesis' answer. The same appeared true for the several dozen minor participants, whose quips were becoming distinctly more homicidal.
Then, suddenly, NY-2000 stopped posting. Suspiciously, none of his regular band of supporters had entered any messages either. Scheinerman was left all alone, and after a few attempts to egg his opponents on ("What's the matter, your cat got your tongue?"), he began sinking into depression. Supportive postings by Elsie and AlphaMale didn't comfort him much, indeed, they quite alarmed him.
Scheinerman left his desk and showered, realizing it had been days since he had last cleaned himself thoroughly. He dressed up, also for the first time in who knows how long, and read the note from Mrs. Scheinerman regarding how she was leaving him and taking Sparky with her (he now noticed the place had been quieter than usual).
There was some noise in the apartment next door. Scheinerman peeked inside. Apparently, his neighbor of many years, Ezra Rottenstein, had passed away and his family was sitting shiva. He recalled being rather fond of Rottenstein, a quiet sort of man, who didn't go out much and spent a great deal of his time in front of the computer.